Impossible

There’s been a lot going on. I *attempted* to pull off a full-blown insane Self Care September Challenge last month. . . and about half way through I got stupidly sick. So in a way, I was challenged in a different self-care way last month. Rather than focusing on working out and eating super great and drinking a gallon of water every day . . . my focus shifted to getting sleep, listening to my body and resting – and also learning to be ok with your plans falling through or changing in ways you weren’t planning (or wanting).

On TOP of being sick out of my head for 2 weeks straight, we have been in the lengthy process of packing up our entire house to move. And we will be moving at the end of this week. Which brings me to the Quote Of The Month.

2016 impossible

Because all last month I kept thinking how much there has been to do. Packing room by room, all of my mugs are packed. all of my tupperware is away. We’re in the process of packing away the last few things and preparing to start the long cleaning part . . . I’ve been dealing with this for 2 months now – and I am so done.

There are days when I feel like it’ll never just end; like I somehow died and ended up in purgatory. Just a constant, neverending loop of knowing we need to keep packing – but you can’t pack too much because you still need to be able live and eat and cook and find clothes.

That all being said. The idea that all of this finally being done feels. . . impossible. It feels like it can’t be true. But here we are. Two days away from moving. And we can’t give up. We have to finish packing. We have to load up all of our belongings onto the truck and move it all into the new house.

But we can’t give up. Because it is very possible. So here we go. Welcome to October – a very, VERY stressful start to the month.

xoxo, katie

 

Be A Better You

I felt like this was an appropriate Quote to use this month, as we work on caring for ourselves and bettering ourselves.

I also felt like it was necessary to make a point on something.

I am on this journey for myself. So that I might learn better habits, and learn to just be happier in general. I want to lose weight so that my knees don’t hurt anymore, and so that my bra size goes back down (from a C to what was an A) so that my shoulders and back don’t hurt anymore. So that I feel more confident in my own skin.

I want to teach myself the habit of eating better and cleaner, and how to make better choices while eating out – because I know that the only way to never eat out again would mean I’d become a hermit that never participated in social events.

I want to be a better version of myself.

2018 better than yourself

And that’s not to say that I will never feel happy with who I am. In fact, I am quite pleased with the person I am. I’d like to say that in general, I am a hardworking, motivated, passionate, empathetic human being.

However – I am not a person that takes care of myself. I stay up too late nearly every night. I lounge on the couch watching TV and scrolling on my phone rather than being productive or doing something I love like reading or painting models. I’ll down cups on cups of coffee rather than meeting my daily goal of drinking about a gallon of water. I’ll sleep in beyond being restful instead of getting up, working out and being productive in the morning. I’m not taking care of my body – and that’s not ok anymore.

Nor is it ok that I’m not taking care of my mental wellness, or my work/life balance, or sticking to my budget and savings goals. But all of that is for another day.

xoxo, katie

Adjusting Crowns

Woahhhhh Hey there August! Am I the only one who feels like the end of the year has snuck up on us? Can I get a raise of hands?

I feel like there’s something to be said for people that help people. There’s even more to be said of those that expect no reward for helping others. And yet, even more  when helping others is not done in an embarrassing manor.

IMG_4091

Help others, even when they don’t ask for it or don’t yet realize they need it. Do it in a way that won’t embarrass the shit out of them. Do it knowing that the only thing you will gain from that interaction is feeling good that you helped someone in their moment of need – and hopefully they appreciate it.

Most times it’s as small as signaling to your girlfriend that she’s got something stuck in her teeth.

Or that random girl at the bar about to walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper on her shoe (yep it happens in real life too).

Even if it’s just offering part of you lunch to that coworker that forgot theirs and can’t afford takeout – and you know it.

Not only will it rub off on them (butterfly effect right?) but it will make YOU feel good about having been able to make a positive change in someone’s day.

Be kind. Help others. Be a queen (or king 😉 )

xoxo,

katie

Let It Go

Here we go.

The dawn of a new age. The birthing of something beautiful.

They say that sometimes things fall apart so that better things can come together.

Here’s to hoping that they’re right. Whoever “they” are, anyways. Not that my life is in total shambles right now – though it’s definitely not what I would call ideal. I mean yeah, I’ve got a loving boyfriend, a roof over our (and our fur children’s) heads, a job with benefits, a working vehicle, food in the house…but sometimes anxiety and those little voices in your head whisper things that aren’t very kind.

Like how even though you’re making decent money, you’ve got a lot of loans to pay off – and it’s making it difficult to afford paying normal bills like rent, or even for food. Anxiety has a way of cranking all of your worries and fears and stressors up to 10…and then that’s when the spiral happens. When, in your head, everything falls apart.

Here’s something for everyone of my anxiety-dealing friends out there today –

letthatsh!tgo

Let. That. Shit. Go.

Get out of your head. Stay out of your head. I know you know what the beginning of that spiral feels like. It’s like when you were a kid, and you’d creep up to the edge of the big swirly slide on the playground – or when you’re on a rollercoaster and the machine ticks as it inches closer to the top before it sends you speeding down the track at several miles an hour.

That’s what it feels like. To experience the start of an anxiety or panic attack. You feel it happening. You know it’s going to happen. But sometimes…sometimes you’re strapped in too tight and there’s no emergency brake to let you get off. Sometimes you see it but you’re too far in you head to see it and grab for it.

I want to work towards finding that E-brake. And being able to reach and grab for it more consistently. Because we all know that yes, the feeling of anger and fear and rage right before an attack is real. And we know that we feel those things before an attack because we don’t want to be feeling those feelings – and so we get angry with ourselves for doing so. But. We also know that while it’s ok to accept that we feel a certain way, it’s important that we are able to yank on that E-brake HARD.

Here’s to letting the little shit go. The things that push your stress and anxiety up towards its limit. The things you panic about and worry over even though you already know that everything is going to be fine. (just because, what if it isn’t fine? your brain tells you…)

Here’s to accepting those triggers, and learning to cope with them in a healthy way.

Here’s to letting go.

xoxo, katie